You Say It's Your Birthday

So today is my birthday and I don't care.  How can I not care about my birthday, you ask?  Because I said so and you have to listen to me.  When I say I don't care, you say "How High?"  However, because I, for some reason, feel the need to unburden myself, I will explain why.
 
First of all, birthdays are meaningless.  It's just another day.  Why celebrate the day you came out of  a place that you're now constantly trying to get back into?  I say celebrate everyday.  Everyday that you are still alive in this world filled with such horrors as war and Emo, is a day to celebrate. 

People also use birthdays as an excuse to party and get sloppy drunk, cheat on your "significant other" with the cross-eyed girl with patchy hair, and spend the next day feeding the toilet bowl and washing your crotch.  It's a shame in this world that people need an excuse to have a good time.  Any of that can be done on any day of the week and even on Sundays before noon. 
 
A giant bonfire on top of my cake is another reason.  There's no need to but the exact amount of candles on the cake as the person's age.  One candle is enough, and if someone licks the bottom of it after it gets pulled it's getting shoved up your nose.
 
Those are a few reason birthdays suck, that and getting older.  Now go away, I have no idea how to end this.